October 2017 – Page 2 – KINETIC MOTIONS

October 13, 2017

My Greatest Asset is Passion Capital

Have you ever walked into a party, a meeting, an event or a conference by yourself and felt nervous, almost afraid, to walk through the door? It’s almost like the feeling that a child has on his or her first day of school. That first step in the door is so hard, but once you are inside and have met a few people you realize there is no reason to worry. You are welcomed, you feel comfortable and you know you are in the right place. This happened to me this week when I attended a conference and came home at the end of the day after learning that my greatest asset is Passion Capital.

I sat in a room all day with like-minded individuals, who are leaders in both Corporate Canada and the non-profit sector. We listened, learned and discussed purpose-led business strategies. The speakers discussed the importance of corporate citizenship and making meaningful connections with customers, employees and the community.

All morning I listened intently, as I nodded my head in agreement. I shook people’s hands and introduced myself as a professional who believes in purposeful communication. Then I heard Paul Alofs give a keynote address after lunch. His topic: passion capital.

Paul described passion capital as the combination of “energy + intensity + sustainability to succeed.” He explained the seven building blocks to achieving passion capital, and #3 affected me deeply: courage.

In order to affect change, any kind of change, we must have courage. It’s not a word I have ever heard before at a meeting, at a conference or any part of my professional life. If I want to dedicate myself to find ways for profit and purpose to meet, I need the courage to bring about change. But I learned that I can’t do that on my own.

If I am to be part of a movement to change Corporate Canada I need to align myself with courageous leaders. These leaders need to step up and speak out in support of purpose. These leaders, as I learned from another speaker, need to be in the business of doing good and not just in business and doing good.

The people I met, the workshops I attended and the speakers I listened to opened my mind to passion capital, and they showed me that it’s my greatest asset. Success in business does not only come from intellectual, financial or human capital. They need passion capital too.

I now know that my greatest asset is passion capital. I think that most people, while they do not know it yet, also possess it. We strive for purpose where we work, where we shop, what we buy and how we raise our children. But if we want to affect change, and I mean real change, we need the courage to take the first step.

October 12, 2017October 12, 2017

I am Supermom

That’s right, you read the headline correctly. Some days, okay most days, I am a regular mother, doing my best to raise my kids in a happy and healthy home. Some days I feel like a terrible Mom, which I know is quite normal. But yesterday, when I went to bed, I felt like I had a Supermom day. Let me explain.

As I have written about before, I, like so many women, am trying to figure that ultimate balance between home and work life. How do I invest and grow in my career and also give my family the attention it deserves? How do I get my work done at the office and also run a household? While I may never find that exact balance, some days I know I tried my best. Yesterday was one of those days.

Yesterday I attended an all-day conference, and I had to be there at 8:00 am (more on that conference in tomorrow’s post but today it’s all about Supermom). I was up and ready, in the dark, while everyone in the house was asleep. The baby is a light sleeper and started to stir as I brushed my hair and got dressed, and minutes before I sneaked out the door, at 7:30 am, she was up.

I gave her a morning cuddle, to calm her down and make her happy. Nessa, you see, loves cuddles, and I learned early on that holding her and hugging her for a few minutes can make the difference in her day. So, after I cuddled her I handed her over to my husband, threw on my coat and ran out the door.

Now I will admit that even on Supermom days I am a bit disorganized. If I had woken up even ten minutes earlier I would have had the children’s lunches in their school bags, and those bags would have been at the door. Okay, that was a miss. But I did leave notes on our kitchen white board with instructions for the day with the childcare and scheduling needs.

A Supermom doesn’t go off to work (or a conference) without a plan for the day. I was in regular contact all with various work, conference and family stakeholders, balancing everyone’s needs. Work was completed on time and the kids were picked up from school and cared for accordingly.

At 5:00 pm, at the end of the conference, I raced home. I stopped at the grocery store to collect the final components for dinner, and I walked in the front door of my house at 6:05 pm. The baby was excited to see me and reached out her arms for a hug. Julia ran to me, hugged me and ran back to her iPad. Matthew did not notice I was there. Clearly his iPad video was far more interesting than his mother.

I unloaded my groceries, took my other ingredients out of the fridge and pantry and got to work to make dinner. 35 minutes later I had dinner on the table – grilled chicken, roast broccoli, potato knishes and couscous. That’s right, I prepped and cooked all that in 35 minutes.

All five of us sat down at the table together to eat, and everyone found something they liked. Okay, Nessa threw half her dinner on the floor, Julia kind of did this half-sit and half-stand position on her chair, and Matthew insisted that the baseball playoff game stay on in the background. But everyone ate and everyone smiled.

As we finished up dinner my mother arrived at our house as she and I had theatre tickets last night. She and I have a theatre subscription and enjoy a night out a few times per year. It had been a long day, but an evening out with my mother at the theatre is always pleasant

I kissed the children good bye and was out for the evening. Upon my return home two of them were still awake (that explanation is for another day). I found my husband and the baby conked out and cuddled up together and left them alone. Matthew was lying on the family room couch and Julia was lounging on a chair nearby.

I sat down with Julia and we discussed her day. She was so excited to tell me all about the marble her class received for their compliments jar that morning and the new Chrome Books her class just received. I got a rundown of who she played with that day and her big plans for her friend coming up for tonight’s sleepover.

When I finally went to bed, with the lights out and the house quiet, Matthew quietly creeped into my bedroom. His father and baby sister were crashed out in his bed (this happens often), and he was looking for a place to sleep. He crawled into my bed and snuggled up beside me. Sometimes I feel that Matthew is growing up too fast, but when he cuddles up tight and close to me in my bed it reminds me that he is still a little boy.

So that was my Supermom day yesterday. I worked and networked at a professional conference. I had some special time with each of my children and even a night out on the town with my mother.

What makes you feel like a Supermom (or a Superdad) or when have you felt the aura near you of a Supermom? Send me your comments here, or please do post on Facebook or Tweet me @AliciaRichler. I would love to hear from you.

October 11, 2017

My Wish for my Daughters: Embrace Sport

My daughter is a little firecracker with enough energy to light up a city. People turn their heads when she enters a room, with this energy she has and her charisma. She is a smart, sociable and friendly little girl. And she has a green belt in karate. My daughter may be only 7 years-old, 3 ½ feet tall and 40 pounds, but I wouldn’t mess with her. She will take you down. And I am proud of her and the way she has embraced a sport she loves and at which she has excelled.

It is a well-known fact that females do not participate in various aspects of sport as much as males. More, but not all, girls participate more widely in activities like dance or gymnastics. While every active pursuit has its merits, I think girls are often underrepresented in traditional sports like baseball, hockey or karate.

I am not going to dive deep into research and quote any statistics about the importance of sport for everyone – children and adults or males and females. Whether you participate in a team or individual sport, I think it is both physically and emotionally healthy to do so.

I am not a, shall we say, natural athlete. I was drawn to the idea of sport when I was a child and was lucky to live on a quiet street where all the kids hung out outside and rotated between various sports each day like baseball and ball hockey. I couldn’t catch a ball (I still can’t), but I could hit the ball down the street with one swing of the bat. I was fearless with my hockey stick and shot the puck past all the big boys in goal.

As I grew up, in the 1980’s, I had a few female friends who played competitive hockey or maybe soccer or lacrosse. But for the most part, our parents signed us up for dance, piano, gymnastics, figure skating and maybe swim lessons. It wasn’t on their radar to put their daughters on a local baseball team or power skating class. And it didn’t occur to most of us girls to do anything different.

But for me, in 2017, as I raise two daughters, I want them to embrace sport. It doesn’t really matter to me what sport they choose, but I want them to know this is a choice they have. We signed up our kids for karate when they were quite young, and my daughter in particular has shined. She is a natural at this sport, and as she trains and becomes quite skilled, she loves it more. Karate has taught her about self-discipline and respect for others. She has learned self-defense and has tremendous muscle strength. She may be small, but wow she is mighty.

The baby can’t even walk yet (but she could beat me hands down in a bum-walking race across the kitchen!), but as she grows up I hope she wishes to pursue a sport of her choice. I want my girls to know that they can do anything they set their minds to. I want them to dream big. If my 7-year-old wants to get her black belt in karate or if the baby wants to be the star pitcher on a baseball team, great.

In my house, the pursuit of sport is open to my son and my daughters, and I hope that is the case in every household. Girls thrive when they are involved in sport, so let’s all stand with our girls to be active, competitive and successful.

October 10, 2017

Google Analytics are Cool but Creepy

I attended a meeting recently, or rather a series of meetings, with a group of marketing, brand and communications professionals. The theme of these meetings was, “Know yourself and know your audience.” One session focused on how to run a business in a digital world and the strategies and tactics businesses utilize to collect analytics on perspective and current clients. The meeting’s facilitator dove deep into how she is collecting data – and applying that data about users – using, what else, Google.

We saw slide after slide about how businesses are grabbing key data as we surf the internet. After a few slides one person in the room called out, “Wow, that is both so cool and so creepy.” Exactly my thoughts.

Technology has done wonders for our ability to track everything we do. I love that I can search for the best price for my next flight, buy a new pair of shoes or find my next job on the internet, from the comfort of my couch. I don’t have to stand in line to pay or search for a parking spot at a busy mall. No one is tapping on my shoulder, with a fake smile, saying, “can I help you?” I can search, buy or sign up in the privacy of my own home.

Ah, but while I feel like what I am doing is private – that I can search and find what I need on my own and my transaction is between me, my computer and the website – oh boy, that is wrong. The crowded store in the busy mall will know much less about me than the business’s website I am visiting to make my transaction. Thanks to Google tracking and analytics.

That website can track my IP address and know exactly where I am located. If I have an account with that business and buy stuff often, they know a lot about me and my buying preferences. They track every page I visit on their website, how I go from page to page and how often I spend on those pages.

Do you have an account with Facebook? Take a look at the ads on the right side of your screen or the sponsored content that appears in your newsfeed. If I had booked a hotel online recently I may see an ad for the hotel chain where I will be staying. If I clicked on a link posted by a Facebook friend about a particular brand, I may see ads from that brand. Thanks to Google analytics, businesses and brands follow my internet searching and clicking behaviour and I see customized content and ads based on those analytics.

Really cool, and ya, really creepy.

I give Google credit that they don’t hide this. Go to Google and do a search for “Google analytics” and you find this:

Google Analytics Solutions – Marketing Analytics & Measurement …

https://www.google.com/analytics/

Google Analytics Solutions offer free and enterprise analytics tools to measure website, app, digital and offline data to gain customer insights.

Customer insights. What’s that? Well, according to Wikipedia (yes, I like to search for background information on this website and they must love me) it is an “interpretation of trends in human behaviours which aims to increase effectiveness of a product or service for the consumer, as well as increase sales for mutual benefit.”

To me, that’s a fancy way of saying that a business collects as much as they can about me so they can target me so I spend money with them. Cool but creepy.

As businesses invest more in technology and we, as a society, rely more heavily on technology, they, using our friend Google, will track our moves and our behaviours more and more. It’s exciting to see what technology can do and also a bit scary. I will still do my searching and buying online, at home, on my couch. And most of the time I will start on my favourite website, Google.

October 6, 2017

Do High Heeled Shoes Define a Woman?

I still watch the TV show Grey’s Anatomy (can you believe it’s already the 14^th season?). In this season’s opening episode, the Chief of Surgery, Dr. Miranda Bailey, struggled with high heeled shoes. More specifically, she didn’t just struggle with actually wearing them but also with what they mean to women. It was a well-written storyline, produced in good-humour, and it had an impact on me, as a woman, who is exploring the next steps I take in my career.

During my 15 plus year career I have never been a high heeled woman. What is a high heeled woman you ask? She is a professional woman who is put together, dressed elegantly every day at work, and every piece of her outfit is carefully considered and matched, down to her high heeled shoes.

My first job was at an all-sports radio station, where I was the lone female among a few dozen men. Jeans, a t-shirt and a pair of running shoes was considered dressed up for work. I fit in with the guys, earned their respect and was more than happy to look like a hobo like the rest of them (especially when I produced the morning show and arrived at work at 4:00 am).

As I moved along my career path, into television then communications I made myself over and dressed accordingly based on my workplace. But I left the high heeled shoes at home.

Do many women feel the pressure to dress up, from head to toe, every day? Do they need to brush their hair just right, put on the right amount of make-up and slide on those high-heeled shoes? Have men put the pressure on us, or have we created this ourselves? Would a man ever consider putting on a pair of shoes in the morning that he knows are uncomfortable, that he knows he must squish his feet into?

Why do women feel compelled to wear high heeled shoes? I realize that for some people the answer is simple. You are an intelligent and successful woman, and you choose to look feminine and sophisticated, and that’s it. Many women feel that the high heeled shoe is part of the required uniform for a female in the professional world. Her feet hurt and sometimes her toes and ankles will blister, but damn, she looks good. No man would ever stand for that.

I did an experiment Thursday morning and wore a pair of sleek, black high-heeled shoes to work (I do own a couple of pairs). I put myself together nicely (I wouldn’t say I looked elegant or sophisticated but I looked okay!), with a light amount of make-up, casual yet professional outfit and my high heeled shoes.

My feet were already hurting as I walked from my car to the elevator. I had to take my shoes off at my desk, as I slowly began to feel my swelling feet doing all they could to escape their prison. By the time I walked back to my car hours later each of my baby toes had a red blister on them and my feet were really sore.

I did get a few compliments on my shoes and how shiny and nice they were. Sleek, high heeled shoes are often noticed and complimented at various offices I have visited. No matter how much agony they are in as they stand there, knowing their feet are enclosed in a space that really only has room for the big toe, these compliments reinforce the idea to other women that high heeled shoes are okay.

For me, they are not okay. I prefer to follow the lead of Dr. Miranda Bailey, a successful, intelligent woman at the top of her game. I am putting my high heeled shoes back in the drawer and pulling out the clogs (or flats) instead.

October 4, 2017

One Season Ends and Another Begins

In October, the seasons are supposed to be changing, from hot days to cooler, from flowers in bloom on trees to the leaves turning bright colours and falling to the ground. I know that any day now Fall will truly arrive. But that’s not the focus of today’s blog post. When I refer to the word season I am talking about sports. In my house, the baseball season, or at least the Blue Jays’ season, has come to a close. But hockey and basketball are just beginning.

My son Matthew is a huge sports fan. In fact, he is the inspiration behind Sports Wednesday. He just can’t get enough of sports. While I have been a sports fan all my life, Matthew takes it to a new level. For him sports is his life, and life is all about sports. So, the changing seasons are all about what sport is ending and what sport is beginning. For Matthew, it’s all about the life cycle of sports.

We all know that the Blue Jays did not live up to the potential that we had all hoped when the 2017 season began. They were out of playoff contention by April 30^th. I won’t go into all the things that went wrong this season. The season is over for the Blue Jays, and we can all look ahead to next year. And hey, the baseball season is not over. October is all about the playoffs, and if you are a true fan of the game, not just one team, then this month is exciting.

If you are a sports fan in general, or at least a sports fan who lives in North America, October is an exciting month. It’s playoffs time for baseball, the football season is in high gear (Canadian and American), the playoffs will soon begin for Major League Soccer and a new hockey and basketball season are both about to begin.

Matthew can’t decide if he is more excited for the new hockey or basketball season. He loves to play basketball (he has set up a mini net in our living room!) and doesn’t like to miss a minute of any Raptors game. Matthew knows who almost every player is in the NBA and can quote stats like a walking encyclopedia. But then there’s hockey. He is a good Canadian boy and knows the importance of hockey in our society. While he doesn’t play hockey, he has grown to love the game.

I will admit that I failed to convince my son to be a Carolina Hurricanes fan. With the excitement in Toronto last year from the new young Maple Leafs’ team, Matthew was hooked. Yes, my son has joined Leaf Nation (it makes me cringe to type that). Tonight is the dawn of yet another NHL season. I am sure that hundreds of thousands of Torontonians believe that THIS season could be the one when their beloved team hoists the Stanley Cup. We’ll see.

So, as we say farewell to one season, we welcome the new one with open arms. Go Hurricanes go!

October 3, 2017

I Cannot Bear any more Horrors of Gun Violence

I went to bed late Sunday night and had trouble falling asleep. I was restless and could not get comfortable. I remember that I looked at the clock beside my bed at 12:45 am, then I must have fallen asleep a few minutes later. Little did I know, as I fell into a deep slumber, in the comfort of my bed, that horror was about to strike down people a few thousand kilometres from my home. It was yet another, more fearsome and deadly than ever, episode of gun violence in the United States.

My sentiments in support of gun control go back to the fall of 2000, during my third and final semester of Journalism School at NYU. For one of my final courses to achieve my Master’s degree, I had to develop, write, produce and edit two short documentaries. The first had to be on a U.S. election issue (do you remember the famous election of 2000?) and the other was on a subject of my own choice.

I was immediately drawn to the issue of gun control for my election piece, and I spent a lot of time and energy researching the subject. As a Canadian, I knew about the strict gun laws that existed at home, but I knew little about the issue in the U.S.

As a journalist, I knew it was my job to seek out all perspectives, to speak with people on both sides of this emotionally charged issue. And I did that. I did my due diligence, and I made sure to interview gun-carrying advocates as well as those in support of strict gun controls.

But it was hard for me to keep my composure when I sat across from a mother who tearfully told me about her son’s last days, before he was shot in the head and killed by a gun. I stayed professional as I recorded the interview and gave her the opportunity to tell me her story.

I produced a fair and well-balanced story, so that anyone who viewed my 8-minute piece was educated on the issue and could make his or her own decision. But I knew where I stood then and I know where I stand now. I believe that not only is there almost no gun control in the United States but that the gun policies that exist in that country are killing its people one by one.

I am not an expert on American gun laws, but if one man can own almost a dozen guns, including a machine gun which can blow off round after round of bullets, there is something wrong with that society.

After each tragedy, where massive casualties due to gun violence have been suffered, we see government and community leaders stand up in front of the world and declare that they can’t take it anymore. They say they can’t bear to watch innocent children murdered or young couples out for an evening concert shot down. But at the end of the day the society as a whole just moves on and waits for the next tragedy.

Can we blame today’s gun violence epidemic on the U.S. Second Amendment? It states, “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” This amendment was enacted in 1791 as part of the Bill of Rights, and from what I have read, this pertains to individuals. I understand why it was written, back in 1791, based on the current situation in which this young country was living.

But a right to bear arms does not mean that everyone should bear arms. Or if someone feels strongly about this right, how can this person legally acquire a pile of handguns and an assault rifle?

Guns have one purpose: to kill. A gun is not a toy and it’s definitely not art. It is a weapon designed to kill a living being, and that’s it. So, if someone insists on buying one gun, never mind ten guns, society needs checks and balances in place to keep control over those guns and those people with those guns.

Sunday’s act of savage gun violence may have killed more people than any one attack before, but it’s just one of many that have happened this year, in years past, and I am sorry to say, for years to come. Until the people of the United States look inward and understand that guns are killing them from within, they will not change.

My sincere sympathy and condolences to the families and friends of the victims of this week’s gun violence and to those who were killed from violence from guns in the past.

October 2, 2017

Do Most of us Really Understand Religion?

A couple of weeks ago I wished all my readers a Happy New Year. When the sun went down on September 20^th, it was the start of a new year, according to the Jewish calendar. The first month of the year is called Tishrei. It begins with Rosh Hashana, ten days later we mark Yom Kippur and a few days later, on the 15^th of the month, we celebrate the holiday of Sukkot. Sukkot culminates in Shemini Atzeret and Simcha Torah. So, there’s a whole bunch of Jewish holidays crammed into a three-week period every year. Rabbis and scholars tell me that it’s a time of reflection, when sins are considered and our fates are sealed. It is a time of year that for those who observe, religion plays a central role in life. But instead of considering my sins or how good a person I am, I have been thinking more about the question, do most of us really understand religion?

Jews around the world marked Yom Kippur on Friday night and Saturday of this past weekend. The literal translation into English is Day of Atonement. Many people would consider Yom Kippur to be the holiest day of the year. It’s the day of repentance, the day we reflect on our lives and hope that our fates are sealed into the book of life.

The holiday, like all Jewish holidays, begins at sundown. First, we eat before we fast for almost 25 hours (what would a holiday be, no matter what religion you observe, without food?). Then, as the sun sets, the most highly attended prayer service of the year for Jews, begins. Kol Nidre. Kol Nidre is not actually a service rather it is the prayer which opens the holiday of Yom Kippur. Jews around the world have been raised and told by their parents, grandparents and friends that THIS is the holiest night of the year. THiS is the service you must attend, if you are going to go to synagogue just once each year.

The prayer is in Aramaic, a language that is related to Hebrew, but it’s not Hebrew. I am going to make a guess here that the majority of people who are packed into synagogues around the world, who stand there and quietly chant this solemn prayer, have no idea what it means or why they are standing there stuffed into the room with a bunch of well-dressed strangers.

The words the congregation hears, said three times are:

All vows, renunciations, bans, oaths, formulas of obligation, pledges, and promises that we vow or promise to ourselves and to God from this Yom Kippur to the next—may it approach us for good—we hereby retract. May they all be undone, repealed, cancelled, voided, annulled, and regarded as neither valid nor binding. Our vows shall not be considered vows; our renuncia- tions shall not be considered renunciations; and our promises shall not be considered promises.

Then everyone in the room says three times (in Aramaic):

“The entire congregation of the people Israel shall be forgiven, as well as the stranger who dwells among them, for all have erred.”

Then the Rabbi (or cantor) closes with the famous prayer, in Hebrew, She-hecheyanu, : “Barukh atah Adonai, our God, ruler of time and space, for granting us life, for sustaining us, and for bringing us to this moment.”

Then the rest of the night is spent reciting the evening service, known in Hebrew as Ma’ariv.

I have attended many a Kol Nidre service in my 41 years. I have also spent hours at synagogue on Yom Kippur, as I flipped through the prayer book to check how many more pages until I could go home. I read, speak and write Hebrew and can confidently say I understand a fair amount of what’s written in Jewish prayer books. But, does being in synagogue, reading and reciting prayers, and listening to the Rabbi speak make me feel more religious? Does it help me grasp what religion is? For me, definitely not.

Do people suddenly discover religion on Yom Kippur? Do they alight to some spiritual plateau that I have yet to find? Will I ever find it?

This year, I will admit, I did not attend synagogue to hear Kol Nidre chanted. I have been fighting a cold for almost two weeks and didn’t have the strength to get to synagogue. I sent David with the three kids so that I could have a quiet evening at home. I will tell you that those precious few hours in my quiet house gave me the opportunity for true reflection (when I started to ask this question, do most of us understand religion).

By Saturday afternoon I felt better and joined David and the children at synagogue for Yom Kippur’s concluding service, called Ne’ilah. It is the least attended service of the Jewish holiday season, but it’s my favourite. It’s the one when I don’t check to see how many pages are left or stand miserably, pushed up beside some well-dressed stranger.

I find Ne’ilah uplifting, maybe even a bit exciting. As I stood there, as the service came to its climax, as the Book of Life was being sealed for yet another year, I suddenly realized what religion meant for me. It’s not about prayers or fasting or keeping kosher or other observances.

It’s about community.

The Ne’ilah service ended and the Havdalah service began. Havdalah, another Hebrew word, literally means “separation.” It is a wonderful, special ceremony that is performed to separate the Jewish Sabbath (or Holidays) from the rest of the week.

I stood there, holding my baby, arm in arm with my children, as we blessed the candles, spices, wine and the new week. Our synagogue group stood strong together and sang, not because we shared a religion or because we felt more devout but because we were a community. I think, as human beings, we all seek out community.

So maybe I was wrong. Maybe on this Yom Kippur I did finally reach that spiritual plateau. I did not find religion, but I found community.