The moment she was born, I cried. Okay, l cried when all three of my children were born. But when Nessa was born, the tears were different. For me, I witnessed a miracle the day she came into this world. It’s the reason we named her Nessa, which means “miracle” in Hebrew. Every day she reminds me that she was worth fighting for. She is my story about perseverance, positivity, and that great gifts are worth waiting for.
My children are all equally special to me. Each of them has their unique personality traits (the good, the bad and yes sometimes, the ugly), and they are the centre of my life. No matter where I am with my career or personal aspirations, my kids are what matter most.
I think, like many (but not all) women, I took it for granted that not only could I have children, but I could have as many, or as few as I wanted. In my late twenties, I didn’t think about all that nature has in store for women, all the steps that must happen, for a healthy baby to be born. Maybe I was blind, or maybe I chose to shield my eyes. My first two children came relatively easily, and by my mid-thirties, my husband and I had two healthy, active, wonderful children.
As I wrote right here, at Kinetic Motions,, everything changed when we decided to have a third child. I wrote in depth, on May 26th, 2017, about our struggles, not just with infertility, but the emotional toll it took on me. I felt ashamed that I longed for a third child when I knew so many women could never even have one child. But I was blessed with a miracle.
I published that article on the day that Nessa turned one. I took a photo of her, wearing her one-year-old crown and one-year-old t-shirt, as she stared at me with her dark brown eyes and wispy blond hair. 365 days after she was born, I was still in awe of this special gift that had brought so much joy to everyone she touched.
Fast forward eight years. Today Nessa turns nine. That’s 3,287 days. Every morning when she wakes up, or when I pick her up at school, or kiss her good night, not a day goes by that I don’t think about the special gift of this miracle.
Nessa brings light to everything she touches (I know, I’m biased, I’m her mother, but anyone who knows her will probably agree!). She is excited about everything, she beams with confidence and has an inner strength well beyond her nine years. Her teachers describe her as kind, as a peace maker, and bright and bubbly. Nessa’s cousins put her somewhere between their favourite toy and the family pet (a dog, of course). Her older brother and sister adore her and love to smother her with hugs (or shoo her away too when she’s annoying!).
For me, Nessa is an inspiration. I think all three of my kids have inspired me in different ways. But today is Nessa’s birthday, so I will focus on her. I want to go back where I started: she has inspired me to persevere, to be positive, and that our greatest gifts are worth waiting for.
Perseverance
I learned this from Nessa well before she was born. I remember when I met with my doctor in the summer of 2015 and he looked at me kindly, to tell me there was nothing more he could do. With no concrete explanation, he felt that a third child for me and my husband was not in our future. I had to decide, do I choose to persevere? Was there any hope? Clearly something inside me said yes, and a short time later I sat in front of that same doctor, as we celebrated hearing Nessa’s early heartbeat, as an eight-week-old fetus.
It was at that moment when Nessa first inspired me to take on anything, no matter how hard. The first time I saw her, months later, she reminded me again. For every small and big milestone she reaches, she shows me what perseverance means. Nessa sings beautifully and proudly in her children’s chorus, she flies down the mountain on her snowboard, she wins the election for class rep. If Nessa wants something, she goes out and gets it. I want to be like Nessa.
Positivity
On first glance, I’m a typical extravert. But in reality, I’m a quiet home body. I sometimes hesitate before I act, which makes me tend towards a negative outlook. But not Nessa. She exudes positivity, and she brings me up if I’m feeling down.
We all need that person in our lives. For some, they find this person early in life, for others, it may take longer. It can be a best friend or colleague or a mentor at work. We need that person who is a positive force, who not only is an optimist, but they bring out the best version of us. For me, that’s Nessa. My youngest child is the most positive person I know, and it rubs off on me every day.
Whether she knows it or not, she pushes me to succeed in so many ways. Over the last nine years, with Nessa in my life, I’ve been open to new opportunities in my career, I tried a new sport (my own special version of snowboarding!) and learned to take the time to appreciate my family more. That’s a positive force.
Greatest gifts are worth waiting for
Not every gift is something tangible, something physical that you can hold in your hand. Some of the gifts we receive in life are not so concrete, and you don’t realize how great they are until you have them. There is some impatience associated with them, like you are so close but can’t get quite what you want.
And then you receive the gift and you appreciate it so much more because you had to wait to get it. The gift is so great that it was worth the wait. For me, that’s Nessa. She is the gift that has shown me that it may take longer than I think, or that I hope, to get what I want, but there is a great gift in the end. This particular reflection is important as it has helped guide me on what I want to achieve in my life. I need to be patient, but the reward will come.
So, do I believe in miracles? You bet I do. My miracle is still small in stature and young in years, but she is big in heart and strength. Happy birthday, Nessa!
