Honk if You’re Angry Part Four – Common Sense

driving aggression rage

Maybe you are sick of me writing about this topic. I haven’t written about my frustration of Toronto’s roads since October, but it doesn’t mean it hasn’t bothered me. With freezing and warming weather for months, Toronto’s streets were destroyed this winter. With spring’s arrival, finally, the people of the city are out, in cars, on bikes and on foot, and it seems that too many people forget the rules or are using any common sense.

Common sense could be it, or lack of. Could people be interpreting the rules differently than me, or are they thinking with their feet and fingers and not their brains? If you are pedaling but not thinking, there can be consequences. If you are texting and not looking up there also can be consequences. And if you are a driver who wrote your own rule book, then you may not care about the consequences.

Let’s look at some instances when clearly common sense didn’t exist, and I observed all of these cases on one day last week:

Jump across into oncoming traffic to turn left

While driving, I turned right at a green light and in front of me was a car, driving directly towards me. The driver wanted to get into the left turn lane while his light was red. But there were many cars in front of him and he couldn’t get into that left turn lane easily. His solution? Just drive on the wrong side of the road for a short time then jump into the left turn lane. Who cares if a car comes. That person can wait, in his mind. Well not in my mind. I honked him to move out of my way. He ignored me.

Honk me at an intersection

I reached the end of a side street and stopped at the stop sign. My car arrived at a busy, major street, with the intention to turn right. I looked left to wait for a break in the oncoming traffic. There were bushes blocking part of my view and I inched forward slowly. Cars kept coming. The guy behind me didn’t like that and put his hand on his horn. He was impatient. Why didn’t I go? Why didn’t I just drive my car into oncoming traffic? I could see there were cars coming. He couldn’t. No common sense. It’s better to make a right turn when the traffic clears.

Rules don’t apply to many (not all) luxury car drivers

I don’t drive a fancy car. I drive a big car, which I have sometimes compared to the Canadian Hercules airplane. My car, whose name is Amelia, is a Honda Pilot. She drives well, she’s comfortable to be in and I feel safe. But it’s not a luxury car. It’s a practical car. And I think I drive in a practical manner, following the rules and using common sense. But I have to say, based on my own observations, that’s not the case for the drivers of many luxury cars.  When the light goes green, if you are driving a luxury car, it doesn’t mean you can jump out fast and turn left as oncoming traffic prepares to go straight. You must stop at stop signs just like the rest of us. Please take only one spot in the parking lot. You don’t have to park in the middle of two spots and be greedy.

Look both ways before you cross the street

I have mentioned this one before. Put your smartphone down and look up if you are walking along the sidewalk and cross the street. It’s just plain dangerous. You are thinking with your rapidly moving fingers and not your head. No common sense. Drivers (and cyclists) should be aware of you no matter what, but why put yourself at risk? And what if you are texting, not looking up and arrive at a red light? Not a good idea to walk into fast-moving traffic. Over the last week, with beautiful weather, there are many more pedestrians. So many of them are using smartphones. Please, wake up. Look up.

Also, just an added note to pedestrians at crosswalks. You have the right of way, always. Most cities have constructed good signage to alert everyone on the road of a crosswalk. There is always a button to press that lights up the crosswalk, so that drivers and cyclists know you are about to cross. Press the button before you cross. If it’s raining or foggy or really sunny out, it makes it easier for you to be seen. Why do so few people press that button?

If it says one way, it’s for cyclists too

I drive on many narrow one-way streets around the city. These streets are shared by drivers, cyclists and pedestrians. A pedestrian, on the sidewalk, can walk in either direction. No problem. But cars – and bicycles – must go in the direction noted on the sign. What am I supposed to do when I am driving down a narrow one-way street and a cyclist is coming towards me, going the wrong way? I have nowhere to go. I must slow down to a crawl or stop. There’s an easy solution: follow the sign and drive – or bike – in the direction it shows. Common sense, right?

It’s really easy to use common sense, especially when traveling on a city’s roads, in a car, on a bicycle or on foot. I don’t want to honk and be angry nor do I want to be honked at. I want to share the road with all of you, and sorry if I keep complaining. Common sense. It’s that easy.

Honk if you’re Angry – Part 3 – Share the Road

share the road

Part 3, that’s right. I really want to think the best of Toronto drivers, but my anger on the roads lately has been bubbling. Every day, when I drive around the city, I encounter a combination of aggression, rudeness and utter stupidity. I had to write another post about it. Today’s theme is: share the road.

What do I mean by share the road in the context of this post? Every time you leave your house you travel to a destination. You may drive, walk, take public transit or cycle. At some point on your journey you are on the road, and you share it with other people in your community. I am asking everyone – drivers, pedestrians and cyclists – to really think about the word share and how we can really embrace what it means.

First of all, drivers share the road with other drivers. If we are all courteous to one another, if we follow the rules and yes, even show some kindness sometimes, I know we would be much less angry. Here are some examples:

I am driving down a busy road and approach an intersection with a green light ahead. There are no cars behind my car. If you are approaching that same intersection from the opposite direction and wish to turn left, please wait to make your turn until I am through the intersection. Why do you have to play chicken and beat me, forcing me to slam on my brakes? Or if you wish to turn right at that intersection, when you have the red light and want to go in the same direction as my car – also, please wait your turn.

Okay, maybe this is an aggressive side of me. I learned, years ago, in driving school, that a driver is supposed to gently inch into the middle of the intersection when going left at a traffic light. If you are that car in front of me at a green light, waiting to go left, it’s okay to move into the intersection while you wait your chance to turn. It means I too can go left after you. If I have to miss yet another light as I wait for you to turn left I start to become angry.

Here is another example. If I am driving down a busy two-lane street and I put on my signal, which clearly shows my intent to change lanes, why do you need to accelerate your vehicle just enough to ensure that I can’t do just that? If you slowed down a little or even just kept your same speed – and showed some courtesy – and shared the road – I would be able to change lanes. Try it some time. You will feel better.

When I talk about the importance to share the road, it’s not just about drivers sharing with other drivers. There are so many combinations of people out on the roads that I believe we should equally show courtesy to each other.

One combination that is forever butting heads: drivers and cyclists. I could write pages about this conflicting pair. I am usually a driver, but I also believe strongly in cycling. My husband usually cycles to work on busy downtown streets, and on his way to work he often cycles with my children to school. I am a strong advocate of cycling. However, I also believe that cyclists must be responsible, follow the rules of the road and share that road with drivers. Stop at a stop sign. Go the right way down a one-way street. Wear a helmet to be safe!

Drivers: when you make a right turn at a busy intersection, check first to see if a cyclist is there. Give space to a cyclist on a busy street. When you park, and open your car door, check first that the way is clear so that you don’t open your door on an oncoming cyclist. Drivers and cyclists: share the road.

Pedestrians, I haven’t forgotten about you. You need to wake up too. You need to know that while you have the right of way on the road (drivers, remember that!), you don’t own the road. Don’t cross at a red light. Look up from your smartphone when you cross the road. If the countdown clock flashes 3 seconds, it’s too late to start to cross the road. And drivers, remember that a pedestrian is a human being. If you hit that human being you could injure or even kill. Check for pedestrians when you turn right – or left – on any intersection.

Please, loyal readers, keep all this in mind the next time you leave your house and hop on the road – with your car, your bicycle or your feet. Keep words in your mind like courtesy, civility and gentility. And remember, share the road.

Honk if you’re Angry Part Two

driving aggression rage


Sometimes I am an angry driver and I believe that it’s not always my fault. A couple of weeks ago I examined a number of reasons why so many city drivers are aggressive and full of rage as soon as they jump behind the wheel of their car. Today I am going to look at a few more, and these, for the most part are the cause of much of my stress as a driver in the city.

Illegally parked or stopped cars on main roads

This is an issue that angers not only me but also his Worship John Tory, the Mayor of Toronto. Traffic is slowed or sometimes comes to a standstill if just one vehicle is stopped on the side of a major city street, in particular at rush hour. It means all cars in that lane need to push their way into the other lane. Often when I am faced with this situation, when the car ahead of me suddenly puts the four-way flashers on and stops in a no-stopping zone, I need to change lanes and hope that the car in the lane next to mine is polite enough to let me in. Usually the person is not so kind.

Large delivery vehicles blocking a side street

Delivering parcels or furniture to homes on small cramped city streets is a challenging job. I don’t doubt that driving around the city in a large vehicle and trying to find somewhere to park that vehicle can be tremendously stressful. However, I am also quite sure that these delivery drivers do not need to turn polite easygoing car drivers into crazy people as we attempt to squeeze past the giant trucks on side streets. If there is parking on only one side of a one-way street, for example, why does the delivery truck have to park on the other side and block the road? My passenger side mirror was once lopped off by one of these said trucks, who easily could have parked on the other side of the street where there were a ton of empty spots. Don’t block the road!

Right of way on a narrow two-way street

Most downtown two-way streets are designed with space for two cars across. That means that cars can drive down the street in both directions, with space for each to drive. If cars are parked (legally parked cars I mean!) on one side of the street it means there is now only space for one car to drive down the street. If the cars are parked on the opposite side of the street than the side I am driving on I believe that I have the right of way. The cars driving in my opposite direction are supposed to wait while I drive by then they are supposed to go around the parked cars once I am out of the way. So why is it that many cars not only don’t wait but I can sense their aggression as they accelerate when they see me and intentionally don’t let me pass – or make me jump onto the curb so I don’t hit them? Wait your turn!

Turning left when the sign says no left turn

I would consider myself to be a law-abiding driver. I stay within a few kilometres of the speed limit, I stop at stop signs and I follow turning signals. When I see a sign at traffic light that states “no left turn between 4-6 pm” and it’s 4:09 pm, I don’t turn left at that light. It’s very simple. I will give a pass to the odd driver who doesn’t notice the sign, signals, waits then realizes and does not turn. I will be angry, however, with the driver who sees the sign, signals, hears the honking horns and sees the line-up behind and turns anyway. These rules are there to help keep traffic flowing even if it is an inconvenience to most of us. Just please follow the signs.

Blocking side streets when sitting in traffic

This one is a bit more complicated but can turn me into an angry driver. Sometimes you are in traffic on a busy street and you can see for blocks ahead that you are going to inch your way forward. Every time you move is exciting and you jump at each opportunity to gain even a foot or two of the road. You approach a side street off to your right and you know that traffic is so slow that you can’t clear this minor intersection. You move ahead those few feet anyway and block the road.

Now I am driving along in the opposite direction and need to turn into said side street. You just can’t bear to wait to move forward those next few inches, so you block me from making my turn. Why can’t you keep the access to the side street clear? Does it slow you down that much to let me through? Now you are still stuck in traffic and I am an angry driver.

Please keep sending me your thoughts, comments and suggestions for what turns you into an angry driver or ways we can all make the roads a less stressful place to drive. And as I had mentioned, coming up soon I will also look at the relationship between cyclists, pedestrians and drivers on our busy roads. Please post your comments here or Tweet me @AliciaRichler.

Honk if you’re Angry

driving aggression rage


I remember a cartoon many years ago, or maybe it was a story or video, about a gentle, sweet, kind person who smiles at strangers when she walks down the street or he helps an elderly woman cross the road. He (or she) is the kind of person we all strive to be. But when she (or he) opens the car door and gets behind the wheel aggression and rage take over. Sweet Sadie or Gentle George become Angry Annie or Raging Robert.


This isn’t the cartoon or video I remember but it’s funny! 

Maybe living in a congested city has forced so many people to keep their guard up and become aggressive when they get behind the wheel of a car. I have noticed that when I leave the city and drive even one or two hours into the countryside people are friendly and considerate. So maybe it’s a symptom of busy city life, but here, at Kinetic Motions, I am going to try to start a revolution and suggest some ways we calm Angry Annie and Raging Robert down.

Stop Signs

These are large, red, hexagonal signs that are very clear in their message – STOP! When you approach one of these signs your vehicle needs to come to a halt. And if you arrive at a four-way stop sign, and my car arrives there first, be courteous and let me go ahead. Remember that we all learned in kindergarten to take turns?

big red hexagonal stop sign
This is a sign with four letters that clearly tells the driver what to do

Tail Gate

If I can see the colour of your eyes in my rear-view mirror it means you are driving too close to my car. If my car needs to stop suddenly, for whatever reason, I need to know that your car is sufficiently behind mine to give you the time, say two or three seconds, to stop, and not hit my car. This, in my mind, pertains to highways, busy roads and even side streets. I recognize the distance between cars should be greater on fast-moving highways, but I still believe that no matter what roadway we are on you need to keep your distance.


Everyone seems to be in a rush as soon as they get behind the wheel of their car. The baby needed a diaper change right before you had to leave, you forgot your cell phone in the house and had to go back to retrieve it or your neighbour, who you do normally love chatting with, had a question for you as you unlocked your car door.

Now you are late. And there is traffic. You try to drive just a bit faster on some roads to make it to work, an appointment or a lunch date on time. You cut off cars, you tailgate others and naturally you jump stop signs. SLOW DOWN! It may be annoying for you that the City of Toronto lowered the speed limit on many residential streets from 40 to 30 km/h and that many thoroughfares also now have lower speed limits, but I support the slower speeds. We are safer if we just drive a little slower.

Grid lock

If traffic is moving very slowly, you are inching along the road and approaching a traffic light, please stop BEFORE you cross the intersection if your car can’t make it through. If you get stuck in the middle of the intersection when the light goes red it means the cars in the other direction can’t move, and traffic just gets worse. You may actually create a traffic jam when you grid lock. I understand the feeling of accomplishment when you just make it through a light in heavy traffic, that little adrenaline rush when you moved those extra few inches, but if you think you may get stuck in the middle of the intersection, next time, please, just wait.

Cut off Pedestrians

I have a one-year-old and live in a neighourhood with a high walk score. We are surrounded by both parks and retail and restaurants. I walk everywhere with the baby in the stroller and always have to keep my eyes peeled on the road, ready for a car to turn in front of me or jump a stop sign. Pedestrians have the right of way at intersections (assuming the person is crossing at a green light of course), but many drivers don’t notice or don’t care. The baby and I were almost rammed last week by a woman driving a large SUV, turning left, with her cell phone in her ear. She looked up and apologized when I started to yell. This one is simple: wake up and give pedestrians the right of way.

Honk If You’re Angry

Why do you need to honk your horn if I’m not going fast enough (in your opinion), if I actually stopped at the stop sign ahead of you or if I take my time to turn right at a red light? If I am ahead of your car, waiting to turn and I can see there are cars coming and you can’t because you are behind me, don’t honk me! When the intersection is clear of cars I will go and I won’t be rushed. If the lead car in a long line of cars waiting to turn left at a traffic light is just sitting there doddling when the signal turns green okay give a light honk. But you don’t have to lean down hard on the horn nor do you have to honk that car before the light even turns green.

I am sure there are many other ways to calm down Angry Annie or Raging Robert and I welcome your suggestions so that I can create an ongoing series of posts on this topic. Coming soon will also be my thoughts on the relationship between cyclists, pedestrians and drivers on our busy roads and ways for everyone to be more courteous. Please post comments and suggestions here, or Tweet me @AliciaRichler.