children – Page 2 – KINETIC MOTIONS

December 19, 2017December 19, 2017

Nightmares from Bambi

I was horrified as I watched the movie. I almost couldn’t look at my TV screen. It was just too terrifying. When would she die? How would he react? It was too much for me. And it was a Disney movie. A really bad, yet classic, Disney movie. Have you ever seen Bambi?

I am quite sure I saw Bambi as a child, many years ago. Clearly I didn’t remember it at all. I watched it with my kids on Sunday night, and it was awful. Maybe the problem was that I knew the plot. Or to put it another way, I knew that Bambi’s mother would be killed during the movie. But I didn’t know when.

Would she die soon after Bambi was born, the first time in the meadow, or a bit later, when they nibble on the first grass of spring? I know his mother’s death, by the gunshot of a hunter, was not the only focus of this 1942 film, but it’s all I could focus on.

Bambi’s friends, the furry bunny named Thumper and cute little skunk named Flower, are adorable, sure. The singing birds are sweet too. And oh, his love and devotion to the fawn, Faline, is admirable. But that’s meaningless.

I sat on the couch with my kids, and even they knew, from the first scene when Bambi was born, that his mother would die. We even made jokes about it. All we could think about as we watched this classic cartoon, when will Bambi’s mother die?

When it finally happened, when Bambi safely made it back into the forest and his little voice called out over and over again, “Mother,” it got even worse. Bambi’s father suddenly appeared, scaring the poor little deer, he said, in his strong voice, “Your mother can’t be with you anymore.” So we started to yell back at the TV, “Of course not, she’s dead.”

I guess we all tried to deal with our feeling of utter horror as we watched the movie by using humour that was even worse.

And this is a movie for children? What? This movie is dark and kind of terrifying. What about the scene with the birds in the trees? They talk about feeling that the hunters are near. One bird urges another, who is clearly very agitated, to just stay quiet and still. But to no avail.

This very anxious bird can’t take it anymore and yells, “We better fly.” And it does. It flies into the air, then we hear a gun shot. Then a blood-soaked, dead bird drops to the ground. All in cartoon. I was traumatized. And I’m 41 years old!

Why do people automatically think that if it’s a cartoon then it’s a movie for children? Or at least maybe they did 75 years ago? This movie tackles some very mature and disturbing issues, most of which are way beyond anything a child should learn about in a movie. If my 7-year-old wants to learn about murder and guns, she can watch the 11:00 pm news with me.

Thank goodness Bambi has a running time of only one hour and ten minutes. Even that was too long. I’m glad it all ended in the usual happy Disney way, as Bambi mates with his love, Faline, and his babies are born. But the trauma of waiting for his mother to be killed still haunts me. Maybe next time I will just watch an episode of The Simpsons. They are a nice, normal family.

December 4, 2017December 4, 2017

There’s Nothing Like a Bedtime Story

Did your parents read to you at bedtime when you were a child? If you are a parent, do you or did you read to your kids at bedtime? For me, the answer is YES and YES. I believe that books, and reading in general, are an important part of an enriching life. But there is something special about reading to a child or being read to. A bedtime story is the perfect way to send us off to sleep.

I have been reading books to my three children since the day each of them were born. We started off with simple but classic board books, like Goodnight Moon, The Hungry Caterpillar or The Going to Bed Book. A baby doesn’t have much of an attention span and has a tendency to tear or chew on the book if she or he gets bored. A number of our board boards have teeth marks in them!

Once the tearing, shredding and biting phase has passed we move up to slightly longer, paper books, and we have dozens in this category all over the house. My kids’ bedrooms contain a good-sized library of classic and new children’s stories, like Madeline, The Little Red Caboose, Pinkalicious, Corduroy, and one of my all-time favourites, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good Very Bad Day.

Corduroy, about a bear who lived in a department store and searched for his missing button, shaped how I felt about stuffed animals. He wasn’t just a stuffed bear, he became a child’s friend. My parents read this book to me at bedtime when I was a child, and I love reading Corduroy to my children.

I have also now moved into reading chapter books to my children. I have tackled some light and shorter books with my daughter that usually have a main character that is either a dog or mermaid without much of a plot, but she loves them. And she looks forward to the time we spend together, cuddled up in her bed, to read our bedtime story.

I have been reading chapter books with my son for a number of years. Our first big series was Harry Potter. With seven books and thousands of pages, it took us almost 2 years to complete the series. When we hit some exciting parts or the climax of each book we just couldn’t stop reading. I will admit that we had a few late nights when we couldn’t put the book down. The fact that I had read the books two times on my own before was irrelevant. Reading them with my son was a different and wonderful experience.

With Matthew’s love of sports, and his love of reading, we have now moved onto reading baseball biographies together. Thanks to my Uncle Bill, who gave Matthew a number of books over the summer, we are learning about some of baseball’s greatest players. And when do we read? In the evening, at bedtime.

Last night we really got into the biography of Satchel Paige, one of the greatest pitchers of all time. We have only read the first few dozen pages, but Matthew is already hooked. He is learning about Paige’s early years and the challenges a poor black child faced growing up in the U.S. South. He is asking me very poignant questions, and it thrills me that we have the time together to read and learn about this amazing man and this important part of history.

Whether it’s Goodnight Moon, Corduroy or Harry Potter, I relish every bedtime story I read to my children. It is one of the highlights of my day, and I always look forward to it. What is your favourite bedtime story? Leave me a comment here, post on Facebook or Tweet me @AliciaRichler.

November 23, 2017

Put on Your Shoes. It’s Time to Leave!

Put on your shoes. Get your coat on. Stop bugging your sister. Where is your hat? No, you are not playing iPad now. You left your homework where? I said, put on your shoes. Now. I’m not waiting any longer. I’m leaving. Get your hands off your brother. It’s time to leave.

These are the typical words out of my mouth each morning as I herd my husband and children out the front door, to the car and off to school. Getting the people I live with to listen to me in the morning could be my biggest challenge in life. It is stressful and often painful. Why don’t they listen to me? Why don’t they move?

I will admit that we do not have a great morning routine in our house. I am usually the first person to wake up and get myself ready. When I wake up I find a different person in my bed each day (okay not quite, it is always one of the four other people I live with!). That person, whether it’s my husband or the baby, does not want to wake up.

Getting my children to wake up, get dressed (forget brushing their hair, I gave up on that a while ago) and eat breakfast is a struggle. But we always get through it. I brace myself when it’s time to get ready to leave the house. Put on your shoes. I must say that a dozen times each morning.

Why does it take upwards of ten minutes to leave the house in the morning? Is it really so hard to put on your shoes? There is definitely a mix of distraction and intentional ignoring going on. Sometimes I feel like I am talking to a wall. I think the wall listens better than my husband and children.

I know that today’s post sounds a bit absurd and even rather shallow as there are far more important issues in my direct life and greater world where I should focus my attention. But this is driving me crazy. As I write this, with my children sleeping and my house quiet, I feel compelled to yell, “put on your shoes!” Maybe if I start the process the night before we will get out of the house on time the next day?

As we head into the winter, my morning stress levels will no doubt increase. Put on your shoes will turn into put on your boots. There will be heavy coats, hats and mittens to put on (first to be found under a chair or deep in a school bag). There’s often a sidewalk to be shoveled and car to warm up. Tuesday is garbage day, which adds a whole extra layer of delay to my morning.

I am happy to listen to any suggestions about how to get my gang moving better in the morning, in particular how to get them out the door on time. Do you have slow moving people in your house? I look forward to reading your comments, posted here, on Facebook or on Twitter @AliciaRichler.

November 22, 2017

Dads in the Corner Office AND Making Dinner

Over the past six months I have written a number of posts about how to balance the many demands of being a mother to three children and my personal career ambitions. I have come to the conclusion that women in 2017 can’t have it all. We try hard to have a work-family balance, and I personally have settled to just do my best. But what about Dads? Can the modern father have it all? Can he rise through the ranks of a corporation or spend long days and even nights working, yet still be there at home to bathe the children and read them a bedtime story?

I have not given Dads enough credit. It is not easy to be a father in 2017. Men who choose to get married, in their twenties and thirties in particular, and have children in their twenties, thirties and into their forties, are also looking for the ultimate work-family balance. These men are not the CEO of the house (sorry guys, that’s the woman!) and often don’t even think about all the small details that go into the well-oiled machine that is raising children.

But today’s father plays an active role in not only how his children are raised – the corporate world calls this the strategy – but also is actively involved in raising those children – the tactics. Dads today don’t just wake up in the morning, get ready for work and kiss the wife and children good bye as he heads out the door. He may give the children breakfast, put their lunch together for school and often is the person who brings them to school each morning.

Dads today go grocery shopping, drive the kids to karate and wash the dishes after dinner. They book play dates for their kids and change diapers. And many of them also hold down a full-time job. I believe that at work they are expected to devote all their energy and put aside the demands of their home life. While many of these great men try, they too may never achieve a much-desired true work-family balance.

My husband, David, is one of those Dads. As his colleagues will tell you, David is one of the most dedicated and skilled people to work with. He works with tremendous integrity and passion and throws himself in to every task he tackles. He is thorough and considers every minute detail.

David’s biggest challenge is time management. As a professional, he is loyal and works hard. As a Dad, he is caring and will do anything for his children. Balancing the needs and demands of work and children is often very difficult.

I believe David’s challenge is not unique. Many Dads in 2017 want the same success in their career that men have always wanted. And they are expected to give their full attention and energy to their job. But they want to also play an active role in raising their children. Many of their wives have a career, and these men are compelled to spend quality time with the children and support the duties of the household.

It’s not easy. I commend the efforts of the Dad who tries his best to reach the corner office and cook dinner for his family. Thank you to all the men out there who work hard every day and who also do their best to support their wives as they strive to reach the corner office too.

November 10, 2017November 10, 2017

Maternity Leave is not all that it’s Cracked up to be

I have three wonderful children who are the loves of my life. Like many women, I dreamed of being a mother for many years and consider myself lucky every day that I was blessed with such an incredible family. My third child, Nessa, my little miracle, did not come so easily, and I am thankful every day for her being in my life. I chose to take maternity leave with each of my three children, which I feel is a privilege given to Canadian women. However, while many people see maternity leave as a great benefit, it can also have damaging consequences to a woman’s job and career aspirations.

I also firmly believe that the new expanded parental leave, announced yesterday by the Federal government, will potentially cause further damage to a woman’s career.

Under the current system, a person (or couple) can take a leave from work for a total of 12 months following the birth of a baby (or start that leave up to 8 weeks before the child is born). During that period, a new parent (or parents) qualify to receive up to 50 weeks of employment insurance from the Government of Canada. I believe that comes out to up to $543 per week. Some employers top up pay for some or all of that time as well. Under the expanded leave, a total of 18 months can be taken off, but the financial benefits are not increased (just spread out thinner over a longer period of time).

I want to put the financial benefits of maternity leave aside. What I want to focus on is the job one “leaves” and what happens the next day after a woman has left the workplace to focus on her new baby. This has happened to me three times.

Each time I had a new baby I chose to go on maternity leave from a full-time job. I was at one place of employment when my first two children were born and another organization when my third child was born. As a communications professional, I worked in fast-paced demanding jobs with a lot on my plate. And I loved it. I knew that with the massive workload I had that someone else had to either take over my job or a group of people had to fill in for me while I was away. Life went on and work had to be done whether I was there or not. That’s the case for all women who go on maternity leave.

So, what happens when a woman is away from the office for just a few weeks, a few months, 12 months or now as many as 18 months? As I said, life goes on at work, people fill in and the organization creates a new normal. When my son was born in 2007, I was away for 8 months. When my daughter was born in 2010 I was away for 11 months. And the organization where I was employed went on and my colleagues worked hard and filled in for me.

After my first maternity leave I returned to my same job and went on with my day-to-day responsibilities. In fact, a few months later I even got a promotion. I worked hard and did my best to balance the demands of my job with the needs of my baby. I assumed the same thing would happen in 2011 when I returned to the same job after my second maternity leave.

But I was wrong. The organization where I worked was planning massive changes and a rebranding while I was away, and those changes were implemented weeks after I returned. I was told my job was eliminated.

I had just come off 11 months of maternity leave and had received almost 50 weeks of employment insurance benefits. I did not qualify to receive any more and thought that in Canada there was a system in place to protect young mothers who chose to take a leave from work to care for their young children. Our jobs, we were told, were protected, so that we could go away for a year and return to work. I understood that my exact job did not have to be given back to me but that a job equal to mine had to at least be available to me. It was, for a few weeks, then it was gone. Why? Because if an organization, for or not-for-profit, does a massive reorganization, it is not required to retain women on maternity leave. It is allowed to eliminate those jobs.

I was lucky that I quickly secured another job in 2011, one I loved very much. I received a number of promotions over the next few years, and by 2016, when Nessa was born, I managed a team of people and oversaw many files and projects at the company. While I did not make a final decision on how long I would be away from my job, I knew I wanted to take at least 4-5 months of maternity leave to spend time with my new baby.

When the baby was not quite 3 months old I was informed that my job had been eliminated. This time there was no company reorganization that I knew of. Various people had filled in for me, there was a new normal and they didn’t need me anymore. It didn’t matter that I was respected by my colleagues and made contributions to the organization over the previous five years. Out of sight, out of mind. So what if the Government of Canada had a maternity leave program? My employer didn’t care. My job was gone.

According to some research I found from Statistics Canada, which looked at the increasing maternity leave benefits from 1971 onwards, I read that “one aim of the 2000 amendment was to enable working parents to care for their infant longer and still allow them secure re-entry into employment” It added that “after the extension of parental benefits, all provinces and territories revised their labour codes to give full job protection of 52 weeks or more to employees taking paid or unpaid maternity or parental leave.”

Financial benefits aside, maternity leave was created, in-part, so that women could feel confident that they could walk away from a job to care for a baby knowing their job was secure and protected. But that is not the case. And the longer a woman is away from her job, potentially up to 18 months with the new expanded leave, the less security and protection she has.

If the Government of Canada is going to expand its parental leave program then it also needs to put in place strict rules that protect those parents’ jobs when they choose to take a leave to care for young children. As long as employers can eliminate a job during or soon after a maternity leave then it is not a true benefit. Canadian women need to know their careers can grow and their jobs are secure when they become new mothers and attempt the very difficult task of a balance between work and home. Until that happens, there is no such thing as a true maternity leave.

October 30, 2017October 30, 2017

I am a CEO. Of my House.

It wasn’t my dream to be an executive. When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a doctor. When I was a teenager I wanted to be a sports journalist. I also knew that I wanted to be a Mom. Little did I know that one day I would be a CEO – not of a retail company or a non-profit organization, but of my house. That’s right, my house. I am a CEO, the Chief Executive Officer, of my house.

I attained my first executive position at a very young age, on June 25, 1998. It was the day I married David. We moved to France, where David was fortunate to get his first engineering job working with his brother-in-law. We lived in a sweet little house in a small village. I would say that was my first foray into executive leadership. I didn’t have a traditional job, but I worked. I ran my first household. It was a small business, with few needs and demands. But it kept me busy, as I learned how to live away from my parents, how to cook and how to live life with another person.

I was promoted through the executive ranks over the next 8 years, as we moved our home from France to Israel to New York and back to Toronto. I had achieved the title of Senior Vice-President by 2006. In June of that year I learned that I was pregnant with our first child and accepted the role to be CEO of our household. In March of 2007 I was formally installed into my position of CEO – Chief Executive Officer – of my house.

Our family of four, the day we moved out of our old house

CEO — Our excited kids three years ago, on the day we moved into our current house

I will admit the first three paragraphs of today’s post are a bit tongue and cheek. But I am trying to make a point. I really am the CEO of my house. I run a very busy household that includes five members, ranging in age from 1 to 44. Each person has a unique schedule, a unique role and unique responsibilities. And I’m in charge of making sure it all runs smoothly. I strategically consider everything each member of the family needs, and I carefully make plans to achieve success. I am not just a wife and mother – I am the leader of the family. I am the CEO.

Since Matthew was born 10 ½ years ago, I have held this position on a full-time basis, on and off, for just under three years. For the other seven plus years, I have also had a job in the general workforce. But why isn’t CEO of my house on my resume? Am I ashamed of the 9 months I was a full-time CEO of my home when Matthew was a baby, the 11 months when Julia was a baby and year that Nessa was an infant?

I have been a CEO for over ten years and have gained valuable skills during that time. Here is a list of some of them:

I have experience managing people – I currently lead four people
Multi-tasking – I can make dinner, help the kids with homework and tidy the living room at the same time
Budgeting – running a household can be an expensive endeavor, and it is important that funds are available to pay the bills, buy groceries and save for the future
Passion – okay this is not a skill, but it’s something I have. I love my family and am deeply committed to helping them be successful in life
Strategic communication – this skill is key in the successful leadership of a household. Language and tone must be carefully considered every day. Whether it is calming down a 2-year-old throwing a tantrum in a grocery store to a 10-year-old who refuses to go to bed at night, a strategic approach to how one communications can be the difference between success and failure.

Right now, my resume includes many skills and leadership roles of which I am very proud, including my years as a student, as a journalist and a communications professional. Maybe I shouldl add one more section to my “professional experience” – CEO, of my house.

October 11, 2017

My Wish for my Daughters: Embrace Sport

My daughter is a little firecracker with enough energy to light up a city. People turn their heads when she enters a room, with this energy she has and her charisma. She is a smart, sociable and friendly little girl. And she has a green belt in karate. My daughter may be only 7 years-old, 3 ½ feet tall and 40 pounds, but I wouldn’t mess with her. She will take you down. And I am proud of her and the way she has embraced a sport she loves and at which she has excelled.

It is a well-known fact that females do not participate in various aspects of sport as much as males. More, but not all, girls participate more widely in activities like dance or gymnastics. While every active pursuit has its merits, I think girls are often underrepresented in traditional sports like baseball, hockey or karate.

I am not going to dive deep into research and quote any statistics about the importance of sport for everyone – children and adults or males and females. Whether you participate in a team or individual sport, I think it is both physically and emotionally healthy to do so.

I am not a, shall we say, natural athlete. I was drawn to the idea of sport when I was a child and was lucky to live on a quiet street where all the kids hung out outside and rotated between various sports each day like baseball and ball hockey. I couldn’t catch a ball (I still can’t), but I could hit the ball down the street with one swing of the bat. I was fearless with my hockey stick and shot the puck past all the big boys in goal.

As I grew up, in the 1980’s, I had a few female friends who played competitive hockey or maybe soccer or lacrosse. But for the most part, our parents signed us up for dance, piano, gymnastics, figure skating and maybe swim lessons. It wasn’t on their radar to put their daughters on a local baseball team or power skating class. And it didn’t occur to most of us girls to do anything different.

But for me, in 2017, as I raise two daughters, I want them to embrace sport. It doesn’t really matter to me what sport they choose, but I want them to know this is a choice they have. We signed up our kids for karate when they were quite young, and my daughter in particular has shined. She is a natural at this sport, and as she trains and becomes quite skilled, she loves it more. Karate has taught her about self-discipline and respect for others. She has learned self-defense and has tremendous muscle strength. She may be small, but wow she is mighty.

The baby can’t even walk yet (but she could beat me hands down in a bum-walking race across the kitchen!), but as she grows up I hope she wishes to pursue a sport of her choice. I want my girls to know that they can do anything they set their minds to. I want them to dream big. If my 7-year-old wants to get her black belt in karate or if the baby wants to be the star pitcher on a baseball team, great.

In my house, the pursuit of sport is open to my son and my daughters, and I hope that is the case in every household. Girls thrive when they are involved in sport, so let’s all stand with our girls to be active, competitive and successful.

August 19, 2017August 19, 2017

Chicago with my Boy

My son Matthew loves sports. He is crazy for baseball and is a huge fan of the Toronto Blue Jays. He also likes the Chicago Cubs and followed their thrilling playoff run in 2016 when they won the World Series. After the big World Series win Matthew told me that his dream (note he was 9 years old!) was to see the Cubs play at Wrigley Field in Chicago. He joked that it would be just so cool to see the Blue Jays face the Cubs at Wrigley.

Then the 2017 Major League Baseball schedule came out and lo and behold, his beloved Blue Jays were scheduled to play the Cubs, at Wrigley, in Chicago. He had to go. I had to go with him. We booked our flight, our hotel, then secured a pair of tickets to the August 18 game. Matthew’s dream was about to come true.

Fast forward to Friday, August 18, 2017 – today. I already sent David off to the family’s country home in St. Donat with our daughters (more on that in a blog post next week). Matthew and I woke up at 4:30 am to a dark and quiet house and crawled into our awaiting Uber taxi. With only carry-on luggage and Nexus cards in hand, we were at our gate 10 minutes after our arrival at the airport.

Our very full flight was on time and felt like a party. Most of the passengers were just like us, headed to Chicago to cheer on the Jays. There was laughter and chatter and even the flight attendant yelled “Go Jays Go” over the loudspeaker. It was the most festive atmosphere I have ever experienced on a plane.

We landed early this morning in Chicago, at 7:25 am, and made our way to our hotel downtown. We dropped off our luggage, enjoyed a filling breakfast at a local café then set out to explore the Magnificent Mile and surrounding area.

Matthew fell in love with Chicago immediately. The tall buildings, the friendly people and great shopping (for him that meant sports stuff and candy). He secured a Cubs hat and even a t-shirt with Kris Bryant on it – only because he is #17 and that’s what matters, of course. Then we made our way to Wrigley.

On the packed train to Wrigley Ville Matthew was jittery and excited. He looked at me at one point and remarked with a big smile, “I have never been so excited in my life.” As the train approached Addison station and Wrigley field appeared through the window, he was in awe. He was so excited that he could not even speak.

The stadium and the game proved to be everything we had hoped. There is something magical about this ballpark, the Cubs and Cubs fans. The thousands of Jays fans in the stands were as loud as the Cubs fans, and we had so much fun sitting with locals and tourists alike. I have been to a few MLB ballparks, but never have I sat with more friendly and wonderful people than the Cubs and Jays fans we sat with today. They are what made the game so great. We cheered together for both teams, clapping loudly when Pillar made an incredible catch at the centre field wall or when Javier Baez blasted a massive home run late in the game.

Matthew tested out his new Cubs hat and shirt and mixed these with his Blue Jay paraphernalia. He high-fived the pair of Jays fans in the row ahead of us. He shared stats and stories about all the Jays players with everyone around us. I learned the life story of the guy in the row behind us who is retired and now has season tickets to the Cubs. We were like one big happy family.

The Jays lost the game, and they were clearly outplayed. But it didn’t matter. We had a wonderful time at Wrigley. We stayed a while after the game to explore the neighbourhood and celebrate the afternoon with thousands of other fans. Matthew even cheered on the Blue Jays players and coaches as they boarded their bus.

Tonight, we are exhausted but exhilarated. We feasted on some of Chicago’s famous deep-dish pizza for dinner, and we are ready to collapse. Tomorrow is another day in the Windy City. We start our day on the river for an architectural tour of Chicago on the First Lady and will finish off at a Major League Soccer (MLS) game, as the Toronto FC take on the Chicago Fire.

It’s sports and Chicago with my boy. What could be better?

August 14, 2017August 14, 2017

My Family is Complete Again

Yesterday morning, on a beautiful warm and sunny Sunday in the summer, David, Nessa, Julia and I (and our nephew Eliah!) got in the car and drove to the airport. Six weeks had quickly passed and it was time to collect Matthew at the airport. His fourth summer at Camp Kadimah was over and it was time to return home. As I watched his tanned and dirty face light up as he saw his family when he entered the arrivals area I knew my family was complete again.

Three months into blogging people often ask me if I have found my groove, where I plan to take this blog or if I plan to tackle more controversial topics. They also ask me if this space is personal or if I am open to sharing thoughts or topics that are more private.

So far, the majority of my posts are light and consist mainly of my musings. For the most part I write about what I see and experience every day. But sometimes I write about a topic of which I am passionate, such as the role of women in society or childcare.

The post I take most to heart is the one I published on May 26, the day Nessa turned one. This delicious little baby, who is now 14 months old, is our miracle. The day she was born I knew my family was complete.

When Matthew flew off to camp last summer, and again this summer, I felt a void in my house. When he wasn’t home my family was not complete. We are a strong family of five. I learned over the past fourteen months that each of us contribute something different and special to this dynamic.

Many couples either choose to not have children or for various health-related reasons cannot have children. I realize these people are in very different categories, but at the end of the day they are childless. For all the accomplishments in my life I am most proud of my children. They are rowdy, messy, often dirty and expensive. But they are also loving, intelligent, sweet and give the best hugs. My life would be nothing without my family.

In my May 26 post, I wrote about my struggles with infertility and my great desire to have a third child. I know that there are many women out there who are dreaming and wishing for just one child. That one child would be everything to these women and would complete their family. My message to you, is don’t give up.

I will never say that the dream is an easy one to achieve, but if you want to complete your family with a child then my advice to you is to keep trying. Every time I look at each of my three children I am reminded of how much they mean to me and how my family and my life are complete because of them.

So, now Matthew is home, and the sliced apples, strawberries, iPad and sports marathon have returned. The house is a bit louder and life more hectic with three kids in the house again. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

August 11, 2017

Sometimes I Need a Shot of Chocolate

Parents pass down many genetic traits to their children. It’s everything from hair and eye colour to height and hand dominance. I also believe that other traits are shared, such as athleticism and the size of their nose. Oh yeah, one more thing – the love of chocolate.

Some people are proud to come from a long line of famous rabbis or writers or doctors. For me, I come from a long line of chocolate lovers. My father loves it and my grandfather loves it. I don’t doubt his father (or mother?) before him loved this delectable treat too.

For me I don’t love just any chocolate. I am not a fan of cheap stuff with low-end ingredients. Anyone who knows me well knows that I have a particular soft spot for Cadbury. But I don’t go for just any Cadbury product in the grocery aisle. It has to be made in Great Britain, where they clearly have a special recipe with a wonderful mix of cocoa, cream and sugar.

Cadbury’s best and simplest product is Dairy Milk, which is full of rich creamy chocolatey goodness. Thanks to my Aunt Jo, who lives in Manchester, my addiction is satisfied every few months when she visits us in Toronto. Once in a while she arrives with something new and exciting, like a new flavour (like caramel or mint, wow) or a new shape or size. My mother-in-law also discovered a few years ago that British Cadbury chocolate can be secured at Duty-Free at various international airports. So, I never go long without my Dairy Milk fix.

For my father, it’s all about high quality dark chocolate. It has to have a high cocoa count (preferably 72% or higher, like even over 90%) and must be fresh. My mother always carries a small cooler bag around when they drive up to the country house or on longer road trips. She fills it with loads of dark chocolate. She feeds my father if fatigue or a snack attack sets in.

And speaking of snack attacks…do not ever get in the middle between my father and some quality chocolate when he is having a snack attack. It’s like being on a hiking trail and discovering that you are on the path between a mother bear and her cub. Dangerous.

As children, my brother, sister and I always wondered where my father stashed his “good stuff,” that really good chocolate that appeared once in a while but usually was hidden away. One day we learned the truth behind the hidden chocolate – he stashed it under his bed. It was conveniently stored so that he could easily access it at night if he needed a quick snack, and it was kept far away from the kitchen so that we couldn’t find it. Now that’s dedication (or addiction?).

The first taste of chocolate is a rite of passage in my family. I saved the first sweet bite for my children until their first birthday, and each enjoyed in their own special way. Chocolate is something to be savoured, and it takes a certain level of maturity – like turning one – to consume it.

Sometimes I just NEED some chocolate. A glass of wine or a cup of coffee just doesn’t do it for me. Give me a square of Dairy Milk or a rich piece of chocolate cake and I’m happy. And now that I have written today’s post guess what I’m about to do? You got it, I’m off to grab some chocolate.