children – Page 3 – KINETIC MOTIONS

August 3, 2017August 4, 2017

Where Did the Evening Go?

Have you ever asked yourself that question? You start the day fresh, with so many ideas and plans of what you will accomplish at work and at home. That brief will be completed and handed in to the boss, dinner will be cooked and on the table at 6:30 pm and all the laundry will be washed and folded. Oh, and you will go through that growing stack of paper on the table in the hall. At the office, you put out fires all day and the brief is left half-written. You pick up dinner on your way home and throw it on the table at 7:00. One load of laundry is left in the washer and the stack of paper has grown again. It’s 11:00 pm, you are exhausted and ask yourself, where did the evening go?

Are the days getting shorter or is my life just getting busier? With three young children and a new career and professional life developing I know I have big dreams. I know I can’t have it all, but at least I can try to accomplish many of the tasks on my list. It seems so easy every morning when I have energy and a cup of coffee in me to dream about everything I want to get done that day, that week and that month. By the end of the day, most days, I ask myself, where did the evening go?

Children really have a great talent of destroying an evening. That’s right I said it. My children are the loves of my life, but wow, I can’t get anything done when they are around. The baby, as cute as she is, monopolizes me and my time when I am home with her. By 5:00 pm, like a typical 14-month-old, Nessa is whiny and crabby and claws at my ankles like a pesky dog. Her seven-year-old sister, Julia, refuses to go to bed lately, claiming there is no bedtime during summer vacation. My husband has been getting home from work late often, so dinner is only cleaned up after 8:00 pm.

By 9:00 pm dinner is usually cleaned up, the baby is usually asleep in her crib and there are only a few toys left on the family room floor. Julia is still running around the house screaming she is not tired and I may have remembered to put a load in the laundry.

When we hit 10:00 pm sometimes Julia has fallen over unconscious on a chair or the couch and I tidy up around her. Now it’s time to get lunches ready for the next day, send the daily email or letter to camp so that Matthew doesn’t think I don’t love him and switch over the laundry (if I remember that I put a load in in the first place).

At 11:00 pm my brain has fallen asleep but I think my body is still in motion. Maybe I will have a snack or take a shower. Maybe I will tidy Julia’s supremely messy room as she is still asleep on the living room chair. Then the baby wakes up and she is screaming and telling me I am a terrible mother for leaving her in her crib in that dark horrible room.

Where did the evening go? That’s where my evening went. Forget preparing for the next day’s blog post or going through that large stack of paper on the table, reading the next chapter of my book, catching up on old episodes of House Hunters on HGTV or cleaning the fridge.

And the next morning, as I wake up fresh and ready for the day I ask myself as I think about the day before, where did the evening go? And I tell myself that that won’t happen today because today is a new day and I will accomplish everything I set out to do. I will keep thinking that way because one day I will come through on my promise and one evening I will prepare the next day’s blog post, go through that large stack of paper on the table, read the next chapter of my book, catch up on old episodes of House Hunters and clean the fridge. When will that day happen?

July 31, 2017

Filling the House with Family

How many members of your family – or your spouse’s family – have you crammed into your home in one day, one evening or one weekend? The most relatives I have ever hosted for dinner was 32, and Holiday meals at my house average 25 people. I have hosted parties for family or friends with dozens of people too. But how many of these relatives have stayed at your house overnight?

Each year, throughout the summer, my husband, David, and I host a ton of close family who are visiting from overseas. So, when I say we “host” I mean we cram in various family members for days at a time into our house. David’s family lives all over the world, from faraway places like Israel and New Zealand to various towns in Ontario like Peterborough and London. Their main destination is the family’s beloved country home in Saint-Donat, Quebec (details on that house coming in a future post). But they also enjoy some big-city fun, BBQ steak and a visit to our home while they are in Canada.

Once in a while we will host a few relatives, but usually when one plans a visit they line up behind him or her and come along too. In the summer of 2014, just after we moved into our current home, I believe we crammed 12 or 13 people into the house for four days. I had people sleeping on couches, a futon, a couple of beds and even the floor. There were toys, clothes and scraps of food everywhere. My fridge overflowed with food and emptied every few hours, and we gave our stove and oven a good workout. There was screaming and whispering and tears and laughter.

This week was the start of our annual summer hosting of David’s family, and this weekend we were a rowdy group of 8 people in the house. We made full use of our spacious home, with people sleeping on the futon, a couch, beds and even the floor. I cooked from all the food groups, starting with a huge steak and chicken BBQ dinner on Friday night, and the festivities came to a crescendo Sunday night with my first-ever attempt at fish and chips.

Family will continue to arrive and depart Canada in the coming weeks, and most of them will make a stop at our house. Next weekend David’s sisters are joining us, then a few days later his brother arrives. Each guest is different, and as is the case with all of us (including me, David and our children!), everyone has their quirks. Some are cleaner and tidier than others, some are loud while others are quiet, but one thing is clear – they all like to eat!

Now don’t get me wrong – I enjoy hosting family, and I love to cook for a crowd. In particular, I like to cook for a crowd who appreciates food and like to eat. David and I look forward to the summer visits from various relatives, and we carefully plan our menus, sleeping arrangements and activities. But of course, it’s a lot of work, especially when our house is crammed with people for days.

This weekend’s relatives have moved on to other destinations and for a few days the house is quiet with only me, David and our girls at home. We will open our home again this coming weekend to family, find various places for them to sleep and fill the fridge with wondrous delights. Then we will come up for air, jump back in for another weekend, until it’s our turn to make our way to Saint-Donat and join the throngs of family along the shores of Lake Archembault.

July is almost over and as usual summer is flying by too fast. It’s nice to know that we can always count on visits from family to enrich the season. We feel blessed to have a large family who actually want to spend time together year after year, and we look forward to hosting them for years to come.

July 28, 2017

Will Canada Ever have a Real Child Care Program?

“Canada succeeds when women and girls are given opportunities to succeed.” This was part of a statement I read by a spokesperson at the Canadian Department of Social Development. On its own I agree wholeheartedly with this statement, and I believe that the current Prime Minister of Canada, Justin Trudeau, is a strong advocate of advancing the role of women in our society. However, while women and girls have more opportunities than ever to be educated and follow the career path of their choice, when they become mothers they have few choices for child care.

Our government is not doing enough to support educated and ambitious women who want to continue to pursue their career goals once they become mothers. Limited funds have been allocated to help Canadian families pay for the exorbitant cost of child care.

This week the International Monetary Fund (IMF) announced that the Government of Canada could spend $8 billion annually to help families reduce the cost of child care. Not only that, according to the IMF, this program would pay for itself, with more women going back into the workforce, contributing to the economy and paying more income tax.

I’m not going to analyze and discuss all the pros and cons of this specific idea brought forward by the IMF. I’m not a finance expert and have not read the full report. But I’m glad the report re-energized the conversation about the very high cost of child care.

In this year’s budget the federal government announced a new child care benefit plan, with money paid directly to families. The amount a family received was based on their income from the previous year. With this new initiative, lower income families, logically, receive the greatest amount of money. It is explained well in a Toronto Star article published on July 26:

“The $23-billion-a-year benefit is worth up to $6,400 annually for a child under six, and up to $5,400 a year for children six to 17. The benefit is income tested, meaning that the less a family earns, the more it receives in benefits per child.

“The IMF says the benefit doesn’t provide incentives for parents to work or get job training.

“The effect on low-income families may be the largest, with the IMF team calculating that they would see their finances worsen if both parents work due as a result of a reduction in the child benefit, increases in taxes, and covering the high cost of child care. Middle and high-income families see their finances improve or not change at all if both parents work, the report says.”

I definitely agree that the high cost of child care is encouraging women in low income families to just stay home. They get little financial benefit from working, often long hours, and paying someone else to care for their children.

However, while the financial benefit is significant in middle to higher income families when both parents work, the high cost of child care does take a hit on the overall financial situation of the family.

Middle income families in Canada are often faced with big expenses, such as a mortgage, carrying costs to run a home and the general cost of raising children (other than child care). The two incomes are necessary to pay the bills, and the added, often large child care expense, takes its toll. For a family with two or sometimes three young children, the child care bill can easily balloon to well over $2,000 per month, which represents a significant percentage of any salary.

I was lucky to find good, safe child care programs for my first two children, who thrived in daycare and full-day preschool. They attended full-day programs from the age of 12 months so that I could continue to work and contribute to the finances of my family. But it was very expensive.

My life has changed since my third child was born, and I am no longer in a full-time job (something I have discussed quite openly in previous posts). I do not need a full-time daycare program right now and am blessed to have the most wonderful and loving child care support part-time in my home for the baby. Right now, as I find my way in my career, I continue to balance my desire to work and earn an income with the cost of paying someone to be with my children when I do work.

It is a challenge that thousands of Canadian women are facing, and unless our government steps up to support young families, it is a challenge we will face for years to come.

July 2, 2017July 2, 2017

My Son Flew off to Summer Camp this Morning – Can I Go with Him?

5:00 AM and the alarm clock goes off. I hear the faint voice of a radio announcer giving me the morning news, sports and weather. I see the faint light of sunrise in my window and the house is quiet. It’s time to get up, wake up the family and rush to the airport to send my son off for another summer of overnight camp.

The highway is empty and it is easy to find our way through the maze of parking at the airport at this time of day. The airport is relatively quiet, and we know we are in the right place when we hear the loud din of children and see the commotion of a summer camp trying to get 156 children onto an airplane. There are coloured balloons and, fluorescent t-shirts and even signs, trying to create organization from chaos. Somehow families line up, names and ID are checked, hugs are given and the children are off.

It is a tradition, and I believe a tremendous privilege, for thousands of children each summer across North America, to travel to an overnight summer camp. It is an anomaly to those who have not attended camp or who have not packed up or sent their children.

I believe that overnight summer camp is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give his or her child. It is a wondrous place where kids can just be kids. On the surface, it’s a terrifying thought – hundreds of children running around in the wilderness with a small but reasonable number of “adults” (most aged 18-22) in charge. Do they eat? Shower? Brush their teeth? Do they sleep?

Does it matter?

Whether it’s a one-week camp one hour from the city or in the case of my son, a six-week camp half a country away in central Nova Scotia, it is the best way to enjoy the warm weeks of summer. In Canada children can choose from a large array of camps, from specialty programs like a week of horse back or riding to those that offer a variety of activities for up to six, seven or eight weeks.

My son’s camp, Kadimah, has been hosting children since 1943, giving them a well-rounded memorable experience on the edge of one of Canada’s small beautiful lakes. Thousands of children have grown up there, met their spouses there, sent their children there and now even their grandchildren. My son has six cousins with him at camp this summer and tons of friends that he has made in his few years there.

My son was a bit anxious this morning. After all, camp is over 1,500 km away and he will be away from his parents for six weeks (we will see him in three weeks on visitor’s day but just for a few hours). That’s not it, he told me. He is concerned about being forced to swim every day, to wake up early every day and he will miss his baby sister. Will the baby remember him when she sees him in three weeks? What about his beloved Blue Jays? I assured him the baby will remember him and that I will send him a daily letter with all the scores and sports news he needs.

As he arrives at camp this afternoon and jumps off the bus I know that his anxieties will disappear. One of the greatest moments for a child is that final section of the road up to camp, as you see the cabins and the lake appear. As each child passes through the camp gate and the bus pulls up the stomach flutters and the excitement comes to a crescendo. Summer has begun.

I miss those days and I miss that wonderful feeling of the special arrival at summer camp. Can I go too?

June 30, 2017June 30, 2017

Happy 150th Birthday Canada – Why I am Proud to be a Canadian

Happy birthday Canada. For 150 years-old you look good. As I glance around the world today, in 2017, our country is healthy and strong. I am proud to say that I was born in Canada, that I was raised here and am raising my children here. As I write this post I am reminded of a great TV commercial from a number of years ago, called “I Am Canadian:”

It was funny, it went viral and it’s so true. Canadians are unique special people. I have worked with, been friends with and am related to some of the greatest Canadians. There are so many people, places and stories to be celebrated, and here I would like to share some of them with you as I salute Canada on her 150^th birthday.

People

One Canadian I would like to celebrate is my children’s great-great uncle, David Hart. Or shall I say Honorary Colonel David Hart. One of seven sons (my husband’s grandfather was Uncle Davey’s big brother), Colonel Hart was an officer in the Canadian Armed Forces during World War II. Earlier this year, at the age of 99 ¾, he was awarded the Military Medal for bravery on the battlefield for his time as a Sergeant at Dieppe. He served his country on the battlefield 75 years ago and has dedicated much of his life sharing his story. Uncle Davey turns 100 in July and with his sharp mind and kind sensibility has many memories to share as he has lived in Canada for two-thirds of the country’s existence.

I also want to give a shout-out to my great-grandparents, all of whom were immigrants to Canada over 100 years ago. As young children and young adults my eight ancestors made their way to Canada with their families, leaving behind their old lives in Europe. Most of them arrived with nothing, but over time they embraced their new country and became leaders in their family and community. Since Confederation 150 years ago Canada has welcomed immigrants from around the world and given them the opportunity to be everything they can be.

Places

Canada is a huge land mass, with so many incredible places to celebrate that I could write a one-thousand-page book and still not cover it all. I love so many Canadian places, from the boardwalk in Halifax (best ice cream by far is Cows, you have to try it), to the gentle harbour in Victoria.

But my favourite places are my family’s and my husband’s family’s country houses, in the Blue Mountains in Ontario and Saint-Donat in Quebec, respectively. I know that I am lucky to be able to visit these special places, lovingly built and cared for by our families. My parents built my family’s home on a piece of farmland over 25 years ago, near skiing, sprawling apple orchards and views of Beaver Valley and even Georgian Bay beyond. Sixteen people squeezed into this small house this past winter to take advantage of the ski hill nearby and endless supply of tasty homemade food. Sixteen? Yes, and a dog. The renovations to expand the house begin this week!

My husband’s grandparents built their home in Saint-Donat back in 1949, when Canada was a mere 82 years old. The original small cabin has been renovated and enlarged in its own unique way over the years and often houses 20 plus extended members of the family at any given time throughout the summer. The house sits on the edge of one of Canada’s most beautiful lakes, where generations have gone swimming and canoeing. The view from the deck is breathtaking, and when things get loud and crazy in the house I just need to walk outside, stand on the deck and stare at the view.

Stories

I have so many anecdotes stored in my memories of events, moments and experiences of what makes Canada special that just thinking about them makes me smile. Could it be my family’s discovery of the best french fry stands on the way to the country house and the nicknames we gave them (such as Fry Guy, Fry Girls and Fry People?). Could it be the first time I had the honour to be associated with the Sears National Kids Cancer Ride back in 2012, when I watched dozens of cyclists dip their wheels in the Pacific Ocean before they cycled across the country to raise funds and awareness for childhood cancer? Is it at a Blue Jays baseball game when over 40,000 people stand together and sing O Canada in unison?

When I string all these stories together I get a clear picture in my head of why I am proud to be Canadian and why I salute my country on her 150^th birthday.

Happy birthday Canada. May you celebrate many more.

June 12, 2017

I Discovered a New Spot Downtown as a Tourist in My Own City

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post about Doors Open Toronto and the excitement I felt at being a tourist in my own city. Toronto is a big place and has definitely come into its own as a world class city. With its many ravines, vast greenery and its setting on the north shore of Lake Ontario I really think that Toronto is one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

I have explored many parts of Toronto, but with such a rich mix of cultures, neighbourhoods and urban spaces there is always a new spot downtown for me to explore. With the first big heat wave of the season upon us, we decided, with my parents, to escape the oppressive temperatures on Sunday afternoon and head down to the waterfront. With the beaches closed because of excessive amounts of rain and too many crowds around places like Harbourfront, my parents suggested we try a new spot downtown (new for us) and have dinner at Against the Grain.

This restaurant sits inside Corus Quay, on the east side of Queen’s Quay. As you approach the area it looks quite industrial and there seems to be an infinite number of cranes dotting the skyline. I saw signs for many developers, building both condos and tall office towers. With a dense downtown core, it makes sense that the skyscrapers are spreading out in this direction.

The waterfront in this part of the city is simple and beautiful. It is anchored by Sugar Beach, which on the surface is the most bizarre beach I have ever seen. It is sandy, it has adorable pink umbrellas and it sits on the water’s edge. But there is a boardwalk between the beach and the water with no water access (except for a cute maple leaf shaped splash pad). A massive industrial boat is moored in the water beside this beach, and with the amount of industry in that area I don’t think anyone would actually want to take a dip in Lake Ontario right there. So, I guess it’s okay that it’s actually a lakeless beach.

The boardwalk is relatively small in that area, but it is wide, clean and provides pedestrians a great view of Lake Ontario, the Toronto Islands and the city’s skyline. We got a table at the edge of the patio, so we were lucky to enjoy these sweeping views as we dug into our dinner.

Any restaurant that has a mix of sophisticated flavours, traditional classics and a kids’ menu is a winner for me. My son was thrilled with his pizza and French fries and my daughter couldn’t believe her luck when a plate of cheesy nachos with guacamole was placed in front of her. I was thrilled to see a Moroccan dish on the menu and enjoyed my roasted carrot tagine. The happiest person at the table was the baby who couldn’t get enough of my tagine!

Sitting on the patio, overlooking the lake, was so delightful, especially with the 21-degree temperature at the water’s edge (as opposed to 30 degrees in the centre of the city). A light breeze even picked up as we finished dinner and did another walk around the boardwalk. The kids loved running on the giant rocks around Sugar Beach, playing hide and seek around the giant planters and just being kids. It was wonderful to take advantage of the beautiful weather and to discover a new spot downtown as a tourist in my own city.

May 29, 2017

Doors Open to be a Tourist in my Own City

I feel privileged that I have had the opportunity to travel to many parts of the world. I have enjoyed the views from the Eiffel Tower in France, Victoria Peak in Hong Kong and Abel Tasman National Park in New Zealand. I was awed by Michelangelo’s masterpiece in the Sistine Chapel in Vatican City, Rembrandt’s The Jewish Bride in Amsterdam and Monet’s Water Lilies in Paris.

I love to travel and am glad that I have passed that love down to my children. But it occurred to me recently that we live in a world-class city, with many world-class sights and art right at our doorstep. Why couldn’t I be a tourist in my own city?

An annual event in my city, Doors Open Toronto, encourages just that – discover the amazing buildings, both historic and new, in neighbourhoods all over town. And it’s free – as in no charge. France launched this event back in 1984, and Toronto was the first North American city to open its doors, in the year 2000.

I have taken advantage of Doors Open Toronto a few times over the past 17 years, and I was excited to see a heritage property in my neighbourhood on the list this year. Spadina House is a beautiful historic home surrounded by some of the most spectacular gardens in the city. It was a perfect place to visit on a sunny May afternoon, especially since we could walk there.

The first home on this property was built back in 1818 by Dr. William Warren Baldwin, who named his 200-acre property Spadina from the Ojibwe word espadinong which means “hill.” Baldwin eventually sold 80 acres of the property in 1866 to James Austin, and over the following years the home was renovated a number of times. James Austin’s granddaughter, Anna Kathleen Thompson, lived in the house until 1982, when the family donated the property to the City of Toronto.

Currently set up as it looked in the 1920’s and 1930’s, we enjoyed our tour of the main rooms of Spadina House, showing the kids the kitchen, dining room, parlours and a bedroom. They were shocked by the simplicity of the kitchen and the grandeur of the parlour. They clamoured to climb the apple trees (we did not let them!) and run through the garden. The property was hopping, full of people who call Toronto home and many visitors too.

It felt great to be a tourist in my own city, and I look forward to discovering other properties, attractions and art in my own backyard. Have you participated in Doors Open in Toronto or one in your own city? What have you discovered? Leave a comment here or tweet me @AliciaRichler.

May 25, 2017June 23, 2017

Traveling with Children

I would consider myself an expert when it comes to traveling with children. Some people may use terms other than expert, such as crazy, insane or nuts. I think I am an expert. I have taken my three children on countless trips around the world, and I believe that their lives – and mine – are richer because of it.

Matthew took his first trip when he was just 17 days old (yes, specifically 17 days and I didn’t plan it that way). We flew to Israel so we could celebrate the birth of our first child with my husband David’s family. My parents traveled there as well. It was an incredible trip, with Passover, parties, hikes and time with family. Did it come with its challenges? Yes of course, but it was worth it.

Traveling with children grandparents on a balcony — Matthew with his grandparents in Israel, only one month old

Since that first trip over ten years ago we have traveled to Israel again many more times with our kids. We have made stopovers in Paris and Rome, taken them to see family in Seattle, Friday Harbour, south Florida, Vancouver and Victoria. We have journeyed on some smaller trips to Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, Ottawa, Montreal and of course David’s family’s beloved country home in St. Donat, Quebec.

Traveling with children Pike Place — Matthew had his trip to Seattle at 8 months old

Traveling with Children pig at pike place — Julia got her trip to Seattle at 6 months old

traveling with children to Victoria — Nessa got her trip to Seattle at 5 months old but didn’t have a chance to meet the pig at Pike Place

traveling with children old city Jerusalem — How many kids have the opportunity to splash in the fountains outside the Old City of Jerusalem?

A few months ago, we crossed the equator and enjoyed the trip of a lifetime with our three kids in New Zealand. We even had a stopover in San Francisco and I won’t deny that there were hiccups. There was jet lag, strange food, inclement weather and a ton of driving. I would do it again. David’s brother’s family moved to Auckland, and giving the cousins an opportunity to spend time together outstripped some of the stresses, hiccups and obstacles we had to overcome.

traveling with children on a beach — Enjoying the hot sun at Piha Beach in New Zealand, overlooking the Tazman Sea

traveling with children on a mountain in new zealdn — David and Matthew are on top of the world on a mountain top in the South Island of New Zealand

Travel is in my family’s blood. David and I spent the first three years of our marriage living in three different places. There was a village in Normandy in France, Jerusalem and New York. Taking our children on small and big trips is a priority for us. This summer Matthew and I are traveling to Chicago for our sports fan weekend. Next week, in honour of her 7^th birthday, I am taking Julia to New York for a girls’ weekend.

The weekend will be all about Julia and making her dreams about New York come true. She has requested a visit to the Statue of Liberty, Impressionist art at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, a ride up to the top of the Empire State Building, a Broadway show and shopping on 5^th Avenue. Julia knows what she wants and as an experienced traveler at age 7 she knows she can do it.

I will post updates and photos from our trip to New York, if Julia lets me slow down and take some breaks. If anyone has ideas or suggestions of some great things to do in New York with a seven-year-old girl post a comment here or Tweet me @AliciaRichler.